Moments of Truth
by mnm marshall
Summary: It's 11:59 and Freddie's not sure he wants to do this whole "mutual breakup" thing...but what's up with Sam?
1. Chapter 1

Moments of Truth  
>Seddie, Rated T<br>mandylynn4 – for feedback

Chapter One: 11:59

~*~Freddie's POV~*~

It's 11:59 and we're just staring at my Pearphone, silently watching the seconds tick by until we are not a "we" anymore - until we're Sam and Freddie plural instead of SamnFreddie singular.

I'm glad I told her I love her, really, truly, honestly, but now I feel like I should've waited until now – this fast/slow moment of our lives to let her in on that fact. She's breathing softly, but I can hear it and smell her sweet trace of perfume in this tiny quiet space. She started wearing the perfume shortly before we starting dating – something Carly probably mentioned to her long ago. The smell will be forever engrained in my memory with this moment – this long, painful moment that's going by too quickly.

We should speak or kiss or at least look at each other – anything to remind ourselves that we're still together. But I don't know what to say or do and I'm sure she doesn't either. This morning we were fine – Sam was still calling me baby and I had the pleasure of nuzzling her neck as we cuddled and watched TV in Carly's living room. We flirted and kissed, held hands and played lover's games.

Then we'd heard Carly's innocent words meant for someone else and that's when the world came crashing down around us. Defeat took over Sam's body – pain tore at my heart as I realized what Sam was thinking. I wished we'd just stayed upstairs and away from all of it. Now, with one cruel twist of fate, we were standing in the cramped elevator sullenly watching time tick by.

The clock flipped to midnight and I took a sharp breath as if I hadn't realized that it would actually come. Sam let a breath out and stepped back to look at me. She forced a smile, not realizing that I could tell that she was far from happy. "So….," she began.

"So…."

"Friends?" she asked after a moment. Her eyes were hopeful as they caught mine.

I let my shoulders slump slightly, then I nodded once. "Okay. Friends." I tried to give a reassuring smile. She returned it, eyes slipping down to the floor, then back up. This was wrong. This was not how things were supposed to be happening. I'm not sure what I expected our fling to evolve into, but this was not part of the overall plan. And now it was over…

Sam leaned forward and pressed the elevator button. The elevator jerked to life and I finally realized that we'd been alone and uninterrupted inside this box for nearly two hours. The whole Shay household sounded quiet as the elevator stopped on the main floor and the doors opened. Carly and Spencer were nowhere to be seen – the lights in the apartment were dim as they usually were when the siblings were sleeping. I sighed. My whole life had just been turned upside down and no one even noticed we were gone.

Sam stepped out of the elevator, turned to me, and said, "Thanks."

I looked up at her. "For what?"

Her lips pursed and she blinked a few times, as if trying not to cry. "For not breaking my heart," she whispered. She bowed her head and turned away, walking quickly to the door. Then she was gone and I was left in the dark, gaping after her, hand tensing on my phone.

I swallowed thickly. "You're welcome," I whispered back to no one.

~*~Sam's POV~*~

"You what? Wait…why?"

Carly stood at our lockers, one hand cocked on her hip, the other resting on her backpack strap. I rummaged in my locker for nothing, just trying to look busy and aloof. It wasn't working apparently. Carly tapped her foot, waiting for an answer. "I just decided we'd played house long enough," I grumbled. I picked up my hairbrush, put it back, then found an old chunk of beef jerky that wasn't that dusty and tossed it in my bag. "Never really got along anyway," I shrugged, shutting my locker.

Carly frowned at me. "But you guys were working on that. The number of fights you had was down a ton since the beginning…weren't you getting better? I mean…."

"Just lay off, alright? It's over and done with. Me and the nub aren't a couple anymore. End of story." I check the clock that hung on the wall. "Let's go."

"Wait!" I pushed past my best friend and started towards the stairs, but Carly's hand clamped down on my wrist. I sighed. "You tell me that you and Freddie broke up last night and you won't even talk about this? What's wrong with you?" Worry furrowed her brow and her hand was still tightly gripping my wrist. I tried to tug away, to no avail – the girl was getting stronger. If I really wanted to get away, I could, but class wasn't really that important and I didn't want to hurt Carly. What was important right now was getting out of the area. It was two minutes until 9:30 and that meant that Freddie would be coming down the hallway from Spanish and he'd be passing right by us. As much as I liked to think our break up was mutual and everything would be fine, I wasn't ready to cross that bridge yet.

"I just don't get it. Did something happen that I don't know about?"

"Hey guys, wait up!"

I groaned. That voice. Freddie was jogging up to us, looking every bit as normal as I wanted to feel on the inside. He looked as if nothing had happened last night and today was just another day of the week. Carly let go of my arm and I spun around. "Gotta go!"

"Sam, wait!" I paused, glanced back at my friends, and shifted my backpack on my shoulder. "Please?"

I straightened up and looked at Freddie dead on. If I was going to spread the rumor that I broke his nerdy little heart, then I was going to have to act like it. "What do you want, nub?" I growled, face growing hotter by the second. I wasn't ready for today – I wasn't ready for any of this yet.

Freddie looked as if I'd hit him square in the jaw. His mouth frowned, his head jerked back slightly, and his eyes were hurt. There. That's what he needed to look like if we wanted to pass off the story that I broke up with him. "So…," he said, voice soft and almost wavering, "we're back to that, Sam?"

"Sam!" Carly warned. She crossed her arms over her chest.

"What? Just thought everything was back to normal. Right, Freddork?" I searched my bag for the jerky, not wanting to look up – not wanting to see the hurt I was causing. It hurt me, too, but no one needed to realize that.

"Uh…right. Normal." Freddie took a small step backwards, still frowning, and tugged at the bottom corner of his shirt. "Look…I was just going to see if you guys were up for the Groovy Smoothie after school, but…"

"Sure!" Carly chirped. She smiled at him reassuringly. I retrieved the jerky and took a large bite, buying myself some time before answering.

"Can't. I gotta go to Build-a-Bra with mom tonight," I said between chewing. "Sorry."

"You did that last weekend with your mom," Carly said, looking confused.

I panicked. I looked at Freddie, whose eyes were still downcast. I shook my head and swallowed. "Well I've got plans, alright? Later." I turned quickly and dashed up the stairs to the classrooms, safe from the awkwardness that was now iCarly. My whole life was screwed up and nothing would ever be the same again. How could I have liked Freddie in the first place? This was all his fault…


	2. Chapter 2: Love The Way You Lie

Chapter Two: Love The Way You Lie

~*~Freddie POV~*~

"So you and Sam broke up?"

I was dreading and anticipating this question all at the same time. Carly and I were at the Groovy Smoothie, strawberry splats in front of us at a table near the door. The rest of the school day had gone by pretty uneventfully, but I knew that some of the kids figured out that Sam and I weren't dating anymore by the looks and whispers I noticed in the hallways and lunchroom.

"Yeah. Last night."

"So Sam said. But I don't get it. What happened?"

I couldn't very well tell her that it was her fault in a way, saying those things about Spencer and his girlfriend while we overheard. I looked up and saw Carly searching my face for answers. I cleared my throat. "What all did Sam tell you?"

"Not much. Just that you guys were leaving my place and you decided to break it off mutually." She took a sip of her smoothie. "Is that true? Did you both want that?"

I fidgeted. "I guess so. I mean, we said that we could be friends…"

"…but you didn't mean it…"

"Didn't mean what?"

"Didn't mean to break up. I mean, sure, you guys fought over little things at first, but you learned to work it all out. And you weren't so successful with sharing interests…and you didn't hang out all the time…and…well…actually, it sounds a lot like you might have meant it." Carly frowned. "So it's over? Just like that?"

"Just like that."

"There wasn't like a significant fight or point where you both realized you didn't want to date anymore?"

Suddenly, my smoothie became very entertaining. I really didn't want to be having this conversation. At all. With anyone. I picked at the Styrofoam cup and whittled away a chunk near the top. "Ummmm…."

Carly grabbed my hand before it could cause any more damage to my cup. "Freddie…"

"What?"

"We promised no more secrets between all of us. And I feel like you're keeping one about this."

"No. I'm not. I just…I'm a little uncomfortable talking about it right now. "

"But if your breakup was mutual, this shouldn't be upsetting you. I mean, you're picking apart your cup. The cup didn't do anything to you."

I shifted on the stool. "It's just something that I'm not sure Sam would want me sharing with you just yet. She should be the one to tell you all these details. Isn't that what you girls do during slumber parties and stuff like that?" I pulled my hand away from hers, and picked up my cup. "I gotta get home. Wanna walk with me?"

"I would," Carly started, but picked up her cup and stood up anyway. "but I need to find Sam. She was acting funny today. Both of you are."

"Well…can't we make an exception for a weird situation last night?"

"I guess," she smiled. "Talk to you later, though!"

She walked out of the Groovy Smoothie and I got up to get rid of my cup. That's when Wendy found me. How I'd missed her in the shop was beyond me – but there she was, standing next to the trashcan, looking smug.

"Hey, Freddie. I couldn't help overhearing that you and Sam broke up? And it was mutual? How did that happen?"

I groaned inwardly. This was not supposed to be happening today. I weighed my options – tell Wendy the truth and have Sam mad at me, or tell Wendy what Sam wanted and feel like a total loser. That was an easy decision. Being a loser was easier to take than Sam's wrath. I straightened up a little, then started the lie. "Well, actually, if you promise not to say anything to anyone else…"

~*~Sam's POV~*~

Hiding from Carly was harder than I thought it would be. I couldn't go home or to any place that was a "hangout" for us. I couldn't even talk to anyone really. The only real friends I could talk to were Carly and Freddie, both of whom I was avoiding. I didn't know why I wanted to avoid them…just that there was a sick, sinking feeling in my stomach when I thought about hashing out the break up with either one of them.

I found myself at a mall across town, roaming the stores that Carly wouldn't be caught dead in – like Auto Traders Sound System Shop and Victoria's Secret. No one really bothered with me and I was alone with my thoughts for the most part. I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

On one hand, I was happy that Freddie and I had decided to call it quits on our dysfunctional relationship – we spent the better part of the first month arguing and the rest of the time just getting together to kiss or go to pointless movies. The kissing was great….or intense as we'd both agreed. And hanging out with Freddie was fantastic for the most part. We were comfortable with each other and it was like being together on iCarly, but with the added bonus of kissage. I smiled at the memories of the dates we'd shared.

Yes, we'd fought. But when in our history had we not? Everything about us was fiery and exceptionally fierce. That was just us – oil and water could combine briefly and be beautiful – like a lava lamp. But eventually, they separated. I felt a heaviness on my chest when I thought about that. We'd promised to be friends, but was that enough? He'd said he loved me. And he was sincere – I could tell by the spark in his eyes and his tone of voice. The sweet smile he gave me that had just a hint of sadness.

Then those mostly amazing minutes following - when we'd decided to be together until midnight. I thought I'd experienced kissing Freddie before, but those slow moments together in the elevator were agonizingly passionate. It's like he threw all his love for me into those kisses. His whole self into the caresses, the holding, the hand squeezes, the whispers… I'm surprised we didn't fall over from exhaustion afterwards. I can't even say that I didn't do the same pouring of emotion back. I wanted him to realize that I really wanted to love him back.

"Miss? Can I help you?"

A saleslady from Shoe Wizard snapped me back to reality. She had an impatient looking smile plastered on her too-made-over face and she looked tired of standing in her too-tall-heels. Typical. I had been standing in the store, hand on a pair of high top sneakers in a puke colored green for too long, I guess. Funny, I didn't even remember coming into the store.

"No," I said, letting go of the shoes and stepping back. "I'm good. I'm fine. Dandy, even."

The saleswoman looked concerned, but didn't press the issue – which was good for her. I wasn't in the mood to deal with idiots like her. I hurried out the door of the store, glancing at my watch and seeing that it was five minutes to closing time. I had to find a way back home quickly. Seattle may be plain vanilla in some places, but the city bus after dark was not a friendly place to be if you were a seventeen year old girl. Thankfully, I was fully self-trained in sleeper holds and nut cruncher kicks. This was not exactly where I thought I'd be only a few days earlier. Life had a funny way of getting tangled up…

~*~Carly's POV~*~

Both of my best friends were acting weird. Like more than normal weird. Neither one would tell me what happened nor why they weren't dating anymore, when yesterday, they were fine. Now Sam was calling Freddie insulting names again and Freddie was moping around, trying to hide it. I blew a stray hair out of my eyes and absently doodled in my science notebook. My head just couldn't concentrate on schoolwork tonight. Suddenly, my phone beeped – a text message. I picked it up.

_Hey – can I come over?_

I looked at my alarm clock and saw that it was a little after eleven. On a school night. Spencer would have a fit – no actually, he'd probably allow it under the circumstances. Neither Freddie nor Sam had come over all day and that was a cause for concern in and of itself. Spencer knew something was up. I typed back a quick response.

_Sure, Sam. Back door's always open._

It took a few minutes, but she came in, as if she owned the place – which technically, she probably owned half my room anyway. Her clothes were tucked in the bottom drawer of my dresser, her hairbrush in the side cabinet of my makeup table, a spare toothbrush with her name etched on the handle in my bathroom. She had lived here before and could easily live here again.

"Hey, Carlotta! I'm here!" She plopped down in the chair next to the door, putting her feet up on the coffee table. "What's shakin', bacon?" she asked, grinning.

I couldn't help but smile back. "Nothing. Just entertaining a very late guest apparently. Where've you been all day? I tried calling…"

"Around."

"Sam…"

"The mall on the east side. Just took a little window shopping day to myself."

"Why didn't you want me to go with you? I'd loved to have gone with." I sat down on the loveseat and put my feet on the coffee table, too. I also picked up the remote control for my boat and started it motoring around inside. It was calming, comforting. Who knew?

"Just didn't feel like having anyone along is all." She picked at a fingernail. "Thought you were going to the Groovy Smoothie with the nub anyway."

I looked up at her. She was still studying her fingernail, trying to keep her face blank. But I'd known Sam long enough to know that something was up. Something big. "Why the names again – for Freddie, I mean?"

"Just getting back to normal," she said, not looking up.

"Normal? I don't know. You're both acting kind of weird if you ask me." That got me a glance and a bit of a huff.

"I'm not acting weird," she said defensively. She looked up at me through her eyelashes. "Am I?"

I put down the remote control and crossed my arms in front of my body. "Yeah, you are. You're all grumpy with Freddie and go gallivanting off to some mall halfway across Seattle until eleven o'clock on a weeknight. You don't answer me back when I text you all day…what's up with you?" By then, my frown was permanent. My voice had gone shrill. I tried to relax, but it wasn't happening. I needed to get to the bottom of this.

Sam shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "Sorry."

I waited, hoping she'd elaborate, but she didn't. Her fingernail must have had the world's tiniest world peace treaty stamped on it the way she was looking at it. I started to bounce my foot against the coffee table impatiently. Finally, she took a deep breath.

"It's been kind of a weird day for me, Carly. I just don't want to…"

"Talk about it?" Sam nodded, but didn't look up. I uncrossed my arms and leaned forward a little. "Well maybe you should. I mean, you liked Freddie – you pretty much loved him – and now you're broken up and that's just how life is. That's normal. You should be able to talk about this with me. I'm your best friend."

"I know. It's just…it's Freddie. He's still your friend and…"

"He will be my friend regardless of what happened between you two. And last time I checked, he was still your friend, too. He never mentioned not wanting to be friendly."

"It's not the same."

"it won't be," I agreed. She still wasn't looking at me, but she'd given up her fingernail. Now she was twisting a curl around her finger tightly, letting her finger turn purple before letting go of the pressure. It was kind of disturbing to watch. She sighed.

"Don't people just say 'let's be friends' to soften the blow? I didn't want to make the nub cry or anything." Her voice was slowly becoming stronger – like the Sam Puckett who meant business. The one that wasn't a minute ago looking like she'd lost her favorite puppy.

I frowned harder. "Wasn't this breakup mutual? You both decided to break it off – right? I don't remember hearing that you broke up with him…"

"But you don't understand…"

"Understand what? What do I need to understand?" I was getting a little angry at the ridiculousness of this conversation. "Are you sorry you broke up?"

"No!" she said a bit too quickly. "Not that. I'm glad it's over." She twisted the hair around her finger very tightly now, not letting up on the pressure. "We weren't going to work out anyway. We were trying to force some connection we had into some boyfriend-girlfriend thing." She looked up quickly, hair forgotten, face turning an awful shade of red.

I felt as if someone kicked me in the stomach. Those were the words I said to Spencer and his girlfriend right before they broke it off. Right before Sam and Freddie had left for the night. I felt the prickle of tears behind my eyes. I was not going to cry over this…I blinked and shook my head. That was not intended for Sam and Freddie to hear – and why would they agree with that statement for themselves?

"What? Did you think that was meant for you two? Is that it?"

Sam stood up and started pacing. "No. Yes. It's just…we were coming to follow you because I wanted some food and then we got to the landing and you were talking to Spencer and I knew you weren't talking to us, but it fit, ya know?" She paced faster, one hand punching softly at the other hand's palm as she walked. "All this time, we were trying to force ourselves into a relationship that just didn't fit. We don't like the same things or share the same interests. We can't go for more than an hour without having an argument of some sort. We can't even enjoy a date alone. When we tried, it just blew up in our faces. And I can't help but feel like it's all my fault for forcing Freddie into something because of some stupid PearPad app." Her face was red, her hair a mess, and she was breathing rapidly, her hand now pummeling her other hand with quite a lot of force.

I opened my mouth to speak, to tell her that she was wrong and that she didn't force Freddie into anything – when my phone rattled and beeped on the coffee table. Both of us looked at it. Sam looked like a balloon that was instantly deflated. All that pent up aggression had come out in a blur and now she looked tired, small. I just wanted to give her a hug and let her know everything was going to be fine. But first, I picked up my phone – Freddie had texted me.

_Are you awake?_

"It's Freddie," I said, an apologetic tone to my voice. I had made this mess, however inadvertently. I had to find a way to fix it – to make things better for both my friends. Whatever that meant. "He wants to know if I'm awake. Do you want to…"

"I'm outta here." Sam rushed towards the door, hand on the knob when I spoke.

"Wait, Sam. Running away from me or Freddie isn't going to solve anything."

She paused, looked back at me, and sniffed. Her chin went high. Defense mechanism in place. "Nothing's going to solve this problem, Carls." Then she was gone.

I crumpled like a leaf on the loveseat and typed back to Freddie. _I'm awake. What's up?_

I just need someone to keep my mind off stuff.

I looked back up at my clock – five minutes to midnight.

_I can text if you want – but Spencer'll freak if you come over this late. _

I could almost hear the desperation in Freddie's next text.

_Midnight comes once a day. Today's is almost harder than yesterday's. She's been gone all day, Carly. _

I knew then that I had to get this all straightened out. It was obvious that Freddie was trying to come to a friendship with Sam and that Sam was trying to avoid it all. Somehow, I had to get the two of them together to talk it out – to come to a truce at least. But how?


End file.
